my brother is autistic

[becky_bee]

[FONT=Verdana]hello, im becky and I'm 13 years. my brother is quite severly autistic, he is very violent and spends his free time hitting me and bruising my shins :o . But its not all bad, a few weeks ago in Paper Plus he insisted to mum that she must buy me this junky plastic ring (its now under my bed serving as a nest to the spiders!!). Normal brothers probably wouldn't have done that.
If anyone would like to email me its beckysmm@hotmail.com. I have msn too.

Bye! :) :D [/FONT]

[AutMom]

Hi becky bee - Sorry you're getting hit - What do you do when he hits? Do you block him, or get away from him?

[JoshP]

My older brother went through a hitting and pulling phase where he would either hit you or grab the collar of your shirt. There really wasn't a whole lot that could be done besides run away and just let me grow out of it.

[Rasconza]

My 15 year old brother has his therapists here for and IEP. I'm so tired of autism. I'm only 16. I can't handle this.Earlier today he was screaming and crying because they gave him a new drill. It hurts so bad when he cries that i want to sob too. But i can't. I'm the oldest sibling. I'm supposed to be strong, but i'm afraid being strong is turning me into an ice queen. Yesterday, when Steven yelled and started to hit himself in a restaurant I felt like I needed to cry at first. The feeling quickly faded and was replaced by numbness. Why can't i even cry?

[mommy bubbles]

hi rasconza sorry to hear u fell like that but what u take for granted comes hard to your brother he does not under stand the out side world as you grow up you will under stand and i hope it gets easy for u u must feal fustrated have u thought about finding help for u on how to cope u can go and see your doctor and thay will put u in tuch with a counciler i hope i have been some help good luck and keep your chin up

[AutMom]

Rasconza, My daughter did have counseling and it helped her. It can be hard to talk with your family about it since they're all so emotionally involved with it. What I mean is it can be good to talk with someone else you can trust. You have a right to your feelings (and whatever they are it doesn't mean you love him any less). Dealing with your feelings now, may help you be stronger for him in the future as well.

[Rasconza]

Thank you for listening. I'm embarrassed to say that post was in one of my weaker moments and, if any of you are wondering, I do love my brother. Really and truly- he is my only brother and my pride and joy. Nobody ever deserves autism but some of us get it anyway. My mom says that it helps to remember that it could be worse. So many people out there suffer from Tay-Sachs and leukemia, it's autism and it's difficult, seemingly insurmountable at times, but it could be so much worse. I will remember your words and,when things get rough, please try to remember mine...

[mtorres]

Dear Becky,
I am 20 and I go to a 2 year college and I have a brother that has autism. He is 6 years old. He has a mild case of autism. He is going to school and is much better now. He stills hits me when he is mad but he is starting to learn not to do it any-more. But I know how you feel. You can e-mail me at sdprettygirl2003@yahoo.com

[SRB]

Hello, im Scott.

I am 15 and my older brother is autistic. Anyways Rasconza your brother sounds a lot like mine. The other week he broke down and started screaming and hitting himself while we were eating at the mall. It is always really hard to see someone you love crying, but sometimes the hardest thing to do is to feel sorry for yourself. Sometimes when my brothers problem would make my life difficult I would feel really bad for myself, and immediatly after that I would feel bad for feeling sorry for myself. This wasnt healthy and I learned over the years that it is ok to worry about yourself once in a while. True things could always be worse but they could also always be better. I do love my brother to death but sometimes it is difficult to understand or even to accept his problems.

Anyways Rasconza I hope that my post helped, or at the very least didn't hurt. Please feel free to email me SRB2234@hotmail.com, or preferably pm me on this board.

[Kamex]

[QUOTE=Rasconza]My 15 year old brother has his therapists here for and IEP. I'm so tired of autism. I'm only 16. I can't handle this.Earlier today he was screaming and crying because they gave him a new drill. It hurts so bad when he cries that i want to sob too. But i can't. I'm the oldest sibling. I'm supposed to be strong, but i'm afraid being strong is turning me into an ice queen. Yesterday, when Steven yelled and started to hit himself in a restaurant I felt like I needed to cry at first. The feeling quickly faded and was replaced by numbness. Why can't i even cry?[/QUOTE]

Lack of crying has nothing to do with strength. Our modern society may teach us that, but it is a false assumption, and is one that has not been shared by all cultures. In Homer's Illiad, Achillies cried openly multiple times, but this did not ruin his super-tough image for the Greeks. In the movie that came out a while ago, Achillies did not cry, because our society cannot seem to appreciate this.

I am only 17, but in my experience, it is not healthy to hold back crying. Without the benifits of crying, you are only making your problems worse. I think that it is important to cry and to cry frequently, and I think depression would not be such a huge epidemic if more people cried.

I am autistic myself, and while it is more difficult for me to hold back crying, I was still able to do it in most circumstances. However, I quickly found that not only did not crying make bad situations even worse for me on an emotional level, but that, like you, I had difficulty crying when I really needed to. I became depressed to the point where I was perscribed several anti-depressants at different times. None of them helped me, and some even made me feel like killing myself.

What I did to restore my ability to cry is when I had time by myself, I took out my old teddy bear out of the closet and hugged him, and this enabled me to cry. From there, it became easier to cry when I needed it.

I just had a difficult time when I realized that though they do not reveal it, my family finds my autism to be very stressfull on them. It made me feel bad that I'm the problem person in the family. I wept and sobbed for about an hour, and now I feel better. The problem has not gone away, but that's ok, I can live with it now. I can deal with it in a calm manner, and can better seek help with my issue. I am not trying to be a tougher person anymore. Instead, I simply am a tougher person, because I am able to handle situations that I would not normally be able to handle.

Trust me when I say that I think you would be happier if you cried more.

[sophia_ann]

Heya, my name is Sophia and i'm 19years old. I have a younger brother who is 11 years old and is ASD. Right now, i'm at university, but when i'm home, i feel that i cant relax and have to be so strong and "parent-like" for my whole family. Everyone seems to come to me with their problems and worries, especially involving the future of my brother; as though i'm their personal councillor. To complete this, i also seem to be my brother's personal punch bag. This is when he gets frustrated. After he's finished, i end up having bruises, teeth marks and scratches all over me.
At times i feel so alone and tired of having to be the one that everyone runs to for comfort. Does anyone else feel like this at times? My email address is willowmahmoudi@hotmail.com if anyone wants to contact me. i'm also on msn messenger.

Take care. xx :o

[AutMom]

[QUOTE=sophia_ann]Everyone seems to come to me with their problems and worries, especially involving the future of my brother; as though i'm their personal councillor. To complete this, i also seem to be my brother's personal punch bag. This is when he gets frustrated. After he's finished, i end up having bruises, teeth marks and scratches all over me.
Take care. xx :o[/QUOTE]

Hello,
They must have a lot of confidence in you!

Is there anyone that can assist you somehow so you don't get beat up?

[UnknownLife]

[QUOTE=Rasconza]My 15 year old brother has his therapists here for and IEP. I'm so tired of autism. I'm only 16. I can't handle this.Earlier today he was screaming and crying because they gave him a new drill. It hurts so bad when he cries that i want to sob too. But i can't. I'm the oldest sibling. I'm supposed to be strong, but i'm afraid being strong is turning me into an ice queen. Yesterday, when Steven yelled and started to hit himself in a restaurant I felt like I needed to cry at first. The feeling quickly faded and was replaced by numbness. Why can't i even cry?[/QUOTE]

[UnknownLife]

[QUOTE=Rasconza]My 15 year old brother has his therapists here for and IEP. I'm so tired of autism. I'm only 16. I can't handle this.Earlier today he was screaming and crying because they gave him a new drill. It hurts so bad when he cries that i want to sob too. But i can't. I'm the oldest sibling. I'm supposed to be strong, but i'm afraid being strong is turning me into an ice queen. Yesterday, when Steven yelled and started to hit himself in a restaurant I felt like I needed to cry at first. The feeling quickly faded and was replaced by numbness. Why can't i even cry?[/QUOTE]


I know where you are coming from. I also have a 15 year old autistic brother. I'm also the oldest sibling which makes it very difficult to endure and be strong. I know there are times when you're scared and you don't know what to do. I know when you feel like you need to cry but can't do it. I've endured having to adjust my life style to a life that most famlies can't even imagine. I would really like to talk to you more so please feel free to email me at GoldNRaider@aol.com.

[dshonelove]

My son is 12 years old and is brother is 15, It is very hard for him because his friends ask him why is your brother like that. Javon just say god made him different and he has a different way of expressing hisself. This really touches my heart to heear aliitle child say such things. However some times I see him in his room crying from the stress. His brother who is autistic, is the oldest and we have no help with his care, its just us. The oldest is very senstive to high pitch noise and once in the grocery store a little child was crying, he broke free from my hand and slapped her. I apolgized to the mother but it really meant nothing to her , I left to grocery store and had to pull Deashawn out of the store. I got in the car and we all cried. Cried for the past , the present , and the furture. I just ask God each day in my prayers to help use all. Help my 2 children, Help use make it thru!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!