Help and advice on Violant outburst

[Karl]

Hi, i am currently in a relationship with a woman who has a 7 year old daughter Liliah who has autistis spectrum disorder, as i was very uneducated on the matter i thought i owe it myself and her daughter that i learn and educate myself on this matter and through my research i have understood more about her disorder and is now clearer to me, i will to add that i have been educated to a degree by Liliah's Mother the general background of her disorder. Liliah is a loving happy young girl with a good caring Mother, Liliah in my opinion is one of the happiest carefree children i have ever met ( only if adults could be as care free and happy), we get along very well with a few kicks and bruises aimed at me and others, she is not violant towards her mother but is towards me and her older sister and kids at school and care teachers, i try to be firm and fair with her when she has violant outburst, by taking her with a firm grip on her upper arm and walking her to her room,but she is persistant with her outburst, maybe this is not the right way to tackle the problem i dont know but this action works when her mother does it, i dont understand and im asking for any and all advice on this matter, what actions to take when she has these outburst.

Karl

i will add that i am not around in the week due to work commitments.

[AutMom]

When my son loses control we do try to get him into his room until he calms down. At times he will just go into his room on his own. Not much to do when he's lost control except maybe just tell him calmly he can come out when he has control or something like that. Reacting strongly has not helped.

Do you know what causes the outbursts? Sometimes they can be caused by some sort of physical discomfort or a frustration. If the problem can be figured out and solved, some fits can be prevented. Keep us posted.

[autimom]

hi karl, first it's admirable that you try to understand, secondly i have a beautiful 7 year old girl who was pretty abusive to my significant other. i found this to be one of most normal behaviors it did really concern me at first but i soon came to realize it was the same as most children react to a step-parent type figure. he was taking time from her and her mommy (or so she thought) he is now her very best friend and advocate for sure.

[NadiaRose]

My four year old son has the same issues with violent behavior towards his step father. We are pretty new to the whole concept of autism since my son was just diagnosed in October. One thing I've learned is that he thrives on routine and when anything happens to majorly disrupt that routine then it tends to set him off. He tends to get overstimulated. Maybe Liliah sees you as a disruption to the routine of how her life normaly goes. Transitioning to new things can be quite difficult. I've been married to my husband for almost two years now and we are still going through this. We are learning new things all the time too though. He goes to special education preschool and his teacher will get on the ground and hold him in her lap holding his arms crossed over his chest so he can't hit until he calms down a little so he doesn't hurt anyone. Then he will get up and give her a hug and kiss and it will be like it never happened. We also put him in his room for a couple minutes till he calms down at home. We stopped giving him so many chances at a time before he goes to his room because he started using those chances to hit as much as he could before he had to go to his room. Now we put him there with each and every time he hits, kicks or bites to show him it will not be tolerated at all. We've also stopped playing rough with him. He's a big boy and likes to rough and tumble. We try to encourage good behavior with positive reinforcement because he responds really well to positives. Anytime he is just sitting there being good and when he is nice to his sister or us, etc. we try to reinforce that. They are trying to push medication on him to control the aggression but he's only 4 so I'm trying to avoid that road as long as I still have options that allow me to. All in all, consistancy and patience.

[Karl]

Hi all
Well as the saying goes murpheys law , my step daughter has been good as gold the past 2 weeks hence no reply altho she has had small outburst nothing major and i have been taking same action as before put her in her room till she calms down :) thx for advice all.
Peace to one and all

[Bethintx]

Remember most autistic children and adults do not like direct eye contact. When interacting with her, try to sit beside her instead of directly in front. As she becomes acquainted with you and gains trust, you can gradually try for the eye contact. Just not too long.