frustrated sibling

[lancerlauren]

hi, so i am a 16 year old girl with a 11 year old autistic brother. i am having a really hard time right now because my brother has been out of control. i really dont know what to do and although i love him and would do anything for him i am about to snap. i try being there for him and i support him but non of that seems to matter. i really try to keep to myself when he is having a hard time but i am only human and sometimes i cant deal with it and i loose my cool. its getting to the point sometimes where i dont even want to be at home because there is no peace there. my parents are trying to help me but they think that it they buy me stuff it will make me feel better. a new pair of jeans can really only hide the pain for so long you know. so if anyone has advice i would really appriciate it. thanks

[D_Free198man]

Well I use to feel that way as well about my autistic brother at times when I was younger. Here's what you should do if you feel your brother's driving you crazy:

Take a jog or excersize to eliminate your stress. Take the anger out on physical activities that'll cool you down. That's what I seem to do alot nowadays. I've been having my autistic brother for awhile now and I really do know what your going through with the stress. At times if you keep it in you at some points you'll take it out on people you didn't mean to.

If excercize won't work then I suggest you try a hobby to focus on. For me if I can't work out I'll draw when I feel tired or stressed out from my brother.

[helpme123]

[QUOTE=lancerlauren]hi, so i am a 16 year old girl with a 11 year old autistic brother. i am having a really hard time right now because my brother has been out of control. i really dont know what to do and although i love him and would do anything for him i am about to snap. i try being there for him and i support him but non of that seems to matter. i really try to keep to myself when he is having a hard time but i am only human and sometimes i cant deal with it and i loose my cool. its getting to the point sometimes where i dont even want to be at home because there is no peace there. my parents are trying to help me but they think that it they buy me stuff it will make me feel better. a new pair of jeans can really only hide the pain for so long you know. so if anyone has advice i would really appriciate it. thanks[/QUOTE]


Hi. I feel so bad for you. I thought I had it bad. My brother is nine and has aspergers. I remember that about two years ago when my brother was bad. Although he sometimes blows up, he is mostly under controll. Here are some suggestions. Does your school have a school phycologist (guidence counciler)? If so, go to him or her and discuss your feelings. Remember to use the I statements, I want, I need, I think, and I feel. When I went to my school phycologist, and talked to him, I felt a lot better. I didn't get all my feelings out in one visit. I kept going and sort of made a friendship with him. This way, I can open up to him. He understands how I feel and he listens to me. He also tries to help me get to the core of my anger by just talking to me. I'm about your brother's age and I get very stressed over keeping my record of straight A's, dealing with family( autistic brother and divorced, full time executive mother) and keeping a good reputation. Also talk to a phycologist about ways to aproch your parents about the issue. Which leads me to my other suggestion. When you have time for a long, emotional talk, sit down with your parents and discuss the issue. It will probably help you (I know it helped me a lot). Make sure you use the I statements and don't be afraid to tell them how you feel. Besides, they're your parents and even if it doesn't seem like it, they love you very much. They are just worried about your brother a lot. He struggles just like we do sometimes. I know that I tell as many people as I can about my brother so they won't make fun of him. I'm guessing that about half of my grade knows. It just don't want people to hurt his feelings when they see him. Many people have atleast seen him in a picture before. They are all stunned when ZI tell them that he is nine. Many people guess six or seven. Although he is short for his age, his actions contribute most to people's thoughts. I mostly talk to my friends about him when an adult isn't around because they know him and they know how I feel. Well, to end this very long advice column, I just want you to know that I am there for you. Try these things and see if things get better. If your school doesn't have a phycologist, suggest one to the school board, not just for you but for many people in your school struggleing with life. As an alternative to a phycologist, you can talk to an adult that you are close to and that you trust. I will keep you in my prayers. Good luck.
Sincerely,
Helpme123
:) :) :)