I Need Help!

[LilMissy]

My name is Amy and my nephew is six years old and just recently diagnosed with a mild case of autisim. My sister is also expecting Valentines Day. I am moving in for a couple weeks to help out because this will be child number three. They are thinking of sending Ale to someones home for a few weeks while the baby first arrives. Granted it would be family and all I still don't see how that's gonna help his tantrums when he's getting kicked out of the house cause of a new baby. That will only make him hate the new baby more. won't it? His school says that he's not handicapped enough for special classes but yet he's failing. Are there schools for slightly autistic children? Please if any one can help me with any kind of info or help i would much appreciate it!!!!!!

[NadiaRose]

I had trouble getting my son diagnosed as autistic even though I suspected it for over a year. During that time I had my daughter and even with the tantrums I wouldn't have even contemplated sending him away. Of course I did have the help of my wonderful inlaws I was living with while my husband was in Iraq. (he is in the army and couldn't be their for her birth) I just watched him really carefully and exposed him to her as much as possible. He basically ignored her for the first couple of weeks and then got a very jealous. He would try to push her off of my lap and stuff. That didn't last very long and now they are ok. One thing I did was have everyone say hi to him first instead of the baby so he didn't feel too neglected. Cause ya know people just flock to the baby without giving anything else a second thought. Some were even thoughtful enough to bring him a gift when they would bring baby gifts. All in all, instead of sending him away, your sister should just make sure baby doesn't hog all the limelight and that Ale gets plenty of attention and love even if it can't be mommy all the time.

As for the whole education/school thing. I'm sorry I can't be more help. We live in Germany at the present and the school my son goes to is run by the DOD and in my opinion is set up way better than any I ever went to as a child. They jumped on the chance to have him in school and even rushed us through the system so that he could start the year on time. He's only been going a couple of months to the special education preschool but the changes in him are amazing. As for your nephew, good gosh, how handicapped does a child have to be to get some help? Especially if he is failing? I'm pretty new to all of this cause my son was only officially diagnosed at the beginning of October and started school the end of October. I hope someone else can help you with the info you need.

[lydia]

Hello,

I have a son who is autistic as well and I have had other children under him. I believe that it can help him by being around other children and yes you are right that will make him feel left out. A lot of autism children are not able to really handle a lot or pressure so you have to take out time with him and explain things in sections. For example, if you want him to eat and then put his plate in the sink. First you do not tell him to do all of that at the same time. You have to tell him one thing at a time and work with him(with patience) slowly until he gets it. Sometimes he may not feel like he still wants to do it along so just sit there and encourage him continuously until he is finished. Then, you proceed to teaching him to put it in the sink. Sometimes it may seem like they are not listening to you but believe it they are and also he have feelings and understand a lot. Of course they need their space and don't really like to be overcrowded but at the same time when your sister have her baby you don't leave them along together either. It is healthy for him to be around other children because they want to become more and more like other children. My son is now in third grade. He is the oldest and he is doing great. Yes it can be rough at times but so are most kids. They don't come in life with directions but you learn to love them and deal with their plus and minuses just like people learn to deal with yours. We can fault kids for being this way and in the long run you will really be proud of your sisters son if you continue to work with him. My son is getting special classes at his school. That is where the school does a IEP on him and discovers what he will need to help him achieve in school. Most public schools should have that . Talk to the principle and he should help you. He should not be treated as a regular student. Ask about a IEP.
I hope this helps a lot!

Lydia :) :)

[lydia]

(We "can" fault kids for being this way) Sorry I meant can"t !

[BeccaG]

Balancing between protecting your child from the hubbub of bringing baby home, creating a safe environment for mommy and baby, and holding on to routine is very hard. Everybody has to weigh out their options the best they can. Something about your mommy sense says this is the best plan. Trust yourself.
If you can help your child plan for and anticipate the stay at the relatives that might help. Maybe a short visit, in which you see the bed he'll sleep in and maybe leave something of his, and some plans to have familiar food and familiar smelling bedding available, whatever he values, might help him AND YOU.
If there is a melt down don't beat yourself up. Nothing says that if you took the other course, the same or worse might not have happened. You do the best you can with the choices you are offered.
SCHOOL There is something called the Americans with Disabilities Act. EVEN if your child does not qualify for IDEA, the school has to meet his needs for accomodations through ADA. If they do not, that is discrimination based on disability. Do not let go of IDEA too easily. Find yourself a local educational advocate. Best if you can find someone who will go with you. It is amazing how quick all those educational people sit up straight and pay attention when a known advocate is in the room. If there is somebody who knows about Autism Great! If not, you supply the knowlege about what your kid needs, tap in to the many resources on the web for specific suggestions in educationaleese AND let your advocate help you out with the eligibility issues!

[J'smom]

[QUOTE=LilMissy]My name is Amy and my nephew is six years old and just recently diagnosed with a mild case of autisim. My sister is also expecting Valentines Day. I am moving in for a couple weeks to help out because this will be child number three. They are thinking of sending Ale to someones home for a few weeks while the baby first arrives. Granted it would be family and all I still don't see how that's gonna help his tantrums when he's getting kicked out of the house cause of a new baby. That will only make him hate the new baby more. won't it? His school says that he's not handicapped enough for special classes but yet he's failing. Are there schools for slightly autistic children? Please if any one can help me with any kind of info or help i would much appreciate it!!!!!![/QUOTE]


You've had so many great replies to this message regarding the new baby, that I won't focus much on that. For myself, my daughter was born one and one-half years after my son is autistic was born. I also have an older son who developed normally. In our case, he ignored his sister for the most part until she about 5 or 6 months old. His tantrums and so forth had little to do with her. But it was also around that time that I finally decided to have him assessed because he wasn't talking alot. Sometimes, as you have been told, it's just a matter of allowing the autistic child time to get used to the change. For my son it takes anywhere from a month to almost a year depending on the amount of change that is happening.

As for school, the suggestion of using an advocate works very well. In my state, California, there are inclusion program in some of the public schools. You have to do alot of research to find that best one and stay involved but for us this has been amazing in his progress.

Good luck to you and your family.