need help with 2 austic twins

[christa]

need help [FONT=Arial]need help[/FONT]

I need help on learning how to deal with 2 twin austic girls. I have one that constantly throws a fit and how do I get her to stop. She throws a fit when she goes to new and different places.

The other twin girl is more of a laid back kind. She doesnt really do much.

Does anyone think that I am in the wrong for wanting to spank them for when they do something wrong, like I would with my own normal 2 kids ?

How do I get my 7 year old daughter to stop coping one of the twins ? One twin constantly has some kind of rope that she can not part with, and my own normal daughter always acts just like the one twin. How do I get that to stop ?

Anyone who can help can e-mail me at christa_23_61462@yahoo.com

thank you,

christa

[lucysmom]

Are these twin girls yours or do you care for them? Do they live with you? It was unclear from your message.

You need to figure out why the child throws fits and find ways to avoid them. Most children who have autism are troubled by new places and situations. A slow introduction helps children figure out how to navigate new challenges and places. It usually takes longer with autism.

Although there are those who believe that spanking can correct behavior, in this case (and always in my opinion) it is ILL ADVISED. You need to know how/what the child is processing in terms of his/her behavior and their intent.

Children imitate one another. Explain to your daughter how you feel when she imitates the other little girl and why you don't want her to do it. Give consequences to her behavior and apply them. At seven, your daughter can understand.

Dealing with children can be incredibly difficult. Dealing with children who have autism can be even more so. Children living with autism have special needs and there are special ways to deal with these needs. I urge you to seek professional help immediately. You need to learn appropriate ways to deal with these children from people who understand. A good physician, teacher or therapist would help you understand the sensory, neurological and social-emotional needs of a children like the twins. It sounds as if you don't have that kind of support.

Good Luck

[christa]

[B]

These twins are my fiance's kids and his ex-wife. We have been dated for 10 months now, and his girls cant not speak. He has been told that they will never be able to speak. No one really knows why she throws these fits. When she does, she scratches up her face, pulls hair, and tries to bite other. She has already bit my son, cause she had one of her fits. Naturally my fiance didnt do nothing about it, and ive been told by another lady that has an Autisc child, that it was ok to either spank, or give them a slap on the back of the hand. But my fiance and his mom seems to think that the girls will not comprehend on that type of thing. So I'm lost on what to do.
No, there isnt really any kind of support group near our town. We would have to travel, and yet we cant afford the gas for that.

The girl's mother never wanted kids, and shows me that she doesnt care or want them. Thier mother spends more time on the computer looking for guys than to tend to her kids. She has had the cops called on her for one of the twins being outside butt naked. She wont keep an eye on that one.

I'm treating them no different than I would with my own 2 kids. My fiance keeps telling me that I cant do that, but I'm not going to treat them like they are broken glass. Yes, I maybe in the wrong for thinking like that, but thats how I feel.

Yes I'm new to this whole thing, but I will not run from it. He wishes that he and his girls could die cause everyone stares at them when he tries to take them out in public. They do nothing but go to a public school, and sit inside either house.

So what should I do.

Christa

[lucysmom]

Christa, you certainly have your hands full and a difficult road ahead. The important thing is that you are looking for help. You want to understand and make things better for the girls and for your family.

How old are the girls? Can you look to the school for help and support? Talk to the their teacher, school counselor and anyone else who will listen to you. Don't give up until you are put in contact with someone who can help. (Federal and state law requires that ALL children receive the help and support that they need). You may have to do a bit of research but you can get help regardless of your ability to pay or travel. Their father will have to be on board unless you share legal custody. I am not sure about the protocal in your state.

You're right, you shouldn't treat the girls any differently than you do your own but remember that the way they take in and process (any) information is different than a typical child and you need to keep that in mind.

It may sound cliche but try to put yourself in the girls situation - you are a young child, your mother cares more about the computer and chat rooms than she does about you. She doesn't have the love or the ability to meet your needs. You are constantly bombarded with information from a world that doesn't make sense to you and is scary and overwhelming. You have no way of knowing how to communicate with the people in your life and are yet unable to fully understand what they want from you. You'd be a frightened and agitated little person too, wouldn't you?

I know how hard it is. Try to take a step back, consider yourself the one person who may be able to help the girls find the support that they need. Observe what happens before, during and after troubling situations. Trust your instincts and don't be afraid to try new things. Calm, assertive and kind goes far with these kids.

(If you'd like to talk more, you can send a private message Christa, we may be boring people here).