Autism and Early Sexual Behavior

[Concerned_Aunty]

Hi! This is my first time here, and as my name says, I am a Concerned Aunty. My nephew has been diagnosed with Autism a couple of years ago now. He will be 6 next month. My concern for my sweet little nephew is that he is fixated on diapers. He loves them, and asks to come to my house, as I have a 1yr old daughter in diapers. His parents have referred to it as a "diaper Fetish" His mother seems Ok with the idea, and pretty much set up a playdate as to let her son have the chance to play with diapers. I didn't feel comfortable with this, but unfortunately, when he wondered off down my hallway, i opened my daughters room to find him sitting back in a rocking chair, and he was what looked to me as masturbating. Diapers were scattered on the floor. I panicked. His mom came, but nothing was said about what happened, and I don't believe she knows what happened.

I'm just wondering if anyone else has experience with a younger child who was showing Early sexual behavior. I'm not even that concerned about the diaper thing, but rather the way his mom is feeding into it.

Any sort of information would be great, or any ideas on how I can approach her on this situation would be greatly appreciated. I have set up a meeting to meet with his mom and dad to discuss this further. As I do not want my children exposed to this type of behavior.

I do fear my young children could be at risk of witnessing something, or worse, if I do not discuss this problem Soon.

[AutMom]

At 6 years old, it may be hard for him to learn appropriate behavior. If he likes diapers, well that's what he likes. Mom apparently accepts this, which I think is fine. If you have him over again, I suggest you put out a few where you can supervise, and maybe hide the rest.

If you want to tell Mom what you observed, go ahead. Just remember this is a 6 year old with autism, and learning about appropriate behavior will most likely be a long, ongoing process for him.

[autimom]

Please understand "tweaking genetalia" is not masterbating.It is fairly common in children with Autism. Alot of kids in the spectrum have been accused of sexual behavior and there is actually nothing sexual about it. With sensory dysfunction some clothing can be uncomfortable even painful. My daughter walked around for a year with one finger in her nose and one hand in her pants. We finally let her go commando. Her school was disturbed by this so we made her wear undies again, after one week they asked me not to force her to anymore. I'm not saying you shouldn't address this issue just see it for what it is. BTW, you not wanting your children to witness any disturbing behaviors is why inclusion is a law. Your nephew will learn more behaviors from them than they will from him. Contact with his neurotypical peers is crucial to him.

[Concerned_Aunty]

[QUOTE=autimom]Please understand "tweaking genetalia" is not masterbating.It is fairly common in children with Autism. Alot of kids in the spectrum have been accused of sexual behavior and there is actually nothing sexual about it. With sensory dysfunction some clothing can be uncomfortable even painful. My daughter walked around for a year with one finger in her nose and one hand in her pants. We finally let her go commando. Her school was disturbed by this so we made her wear undies again, after one week they asked me not to force her to anymore. I'm not saying you shouldn't address this issue just see it for what it is. BTW, you not wanting your children to witness any disturbing behaviors is why inclusion is a law. Your nephew will learn more behaviors from them than they will from him. Contact with his neurotypical peers is crucial to him.[/QUOTE]

I appreciate the comments I am receiving. However, let me tell you that what i saw was masturbation. I can believe it wasn't a sexual thing, probably more sensory. But I have a 2yr old son, and I do know the difference between "playing" with themselves, and then there's the other. I think it is very important that these children learn what is appropriate and inappropriate behavior (time and place..)

Also, I am more concerned about the parents reaction to this type of behavior, rather then what the child is doing. It is our job as parents to teach our children, no matter what diagnosis they have, what is appropriate and inappropriate.

[Concerned_Aunty]

[QUOTE=AutMom]At 6 years old, it may be hard for him to learn appropriate behavior. If he likes diapers, well that's what he likes. Mom apparently accepts this, which I think is fine. If you have him over again, I suggest you put out a few where you can supervise, and maybe hide the rest.

If you want to tell Mom what you observed, go ahead. Just remember this is a 6 year old with autism, and learning about appropriate behavior will most likely be a long, ongoing process for him.[/QUOTE]

WoW. You are very right, that a 6 yr old has a hard time learning what is appropriate behavior. A mother who feeds into inappropriate behavior, will not help at all. I have decided that by having my nephew over, he is not to be left unsupervised by his mother. Diapers will be put away. He needs to learn it's not okay to wear diapers. He's a big boy now, and wears underwear. Diapers are for infants.

[AutMom]

[QUOTE=Concerned_Aunty]He needs to learn it's not okay to wear diapers. He's a big boy now, and wears underwear. Diapers are for infants.[/QUOTE]

I think I am not getting the diaper thing....:confused: I thought you were saying he liked diapers..(like someone might like a new box of crayons or shiny things, etc.). I didn't realize he wanted to wear them.