Temper Tantrums.

[SPIDER]

Hi, I have just found this site and had a read through, it looks very interesting. I have an autistic son aged 10yrs he was diagnosed with aspergers syndrome, we have had numerous medical checks because his main problem is his temper outbursts. The thing is he does not seem to temper at school, when he's out playing or with his grandparents. He saves it all for us at home. I can handle the outbursts at home reasonable ok, but the main problem is he has outbursts outside the home, i.e. when we take him to the seaside, a trip into the town or the local shop. Professionals can find no cause for this or even offer us some help with dealing with this. My son is very rude to strangers when he has a temper and swears out loud, it is very embarrasing as he is getting older now.
I suppose i'm asking can anybody help,or relate to this with an older child. We have been dealing with this for about 6 yrs and it's not getting any easier.
He has one-one support in mainstream school for 25 hrs aweek. We wanted to move him into a special school but they decided against it as they see none of these behavior problems in school.

[AutMom]

The only thing I can think of at the moment is that maybe its because they are unstructured times....?

[GraceR]

Hi Spider,

My sons are 11 years old. One of them has severe sensory and behavior issues, and I've especially seen an increase in his inability to cope this year. On the up side, he isn't hitting this year, but he has discovered language that will get a reaction out of people, and he uses it whenever he feels anxious. He has limited language, so the "shock factor" seems to be most effective for him. I, too, have been embarassed by his outbursts. My theory is that something in him has changed, and he is actually more aware than ever before. For someone who hasn't always been in tuned with his surroundings, this new awareness has to be stressful. I do everything I can think of to calm him ... Lexapro, compression vest, hammock swing, massages with lavender scented oil, meditation CDs. I buy anything I can find in lavender scent because it's supposed to be calming. I guess I'm also looking for someone else who's dealing with the same thing. I'd be interested in knowing what methods you've tried.

[SPIDER]

Hi Gracer,

We have only used the methods of going to his room, sitting on the stairs untill calmer, or a lose of privaledges. Probably sitting on the stairs has been the most effective when he tempers at home, but i have no stratergies to use when we are out. In fact as a family my son is causeing us to be house bound. My husband says we need to continue to take him out even though he explodes, but i fear now that he is getting older and louder and aiming his fowl mouth to strangers that we may get into serious bother. We have consulted a number of experts about our situation but getting no worth while help. It seems as if his tempers occur when he is obsessed about something, but he has so many obsessions and adds to them every day that i can't seem to keep him at peace within himself. I keep hopeing he'll grow out of it. I would have thought there would have been some sort of medication to help him calm even if it is herble.

[SPIDER]

Autmom,

Im not with you on your reply, could you please elaborate. I would appreciate your comments.

[GraceR]

One thing I've had luck with at school and at the grocery store is having my son sit on the ground. I take him outside and find a place that's away from other people. When he calms down, I ask him if he's ready to go back in. If the language starts up again, we go back to the same spot, and I have him sit. It may take several "sit downs" before the behavior is completely eliminated. I don't bring him home, because I feel that would reinforce the behavior. The activity may seem never-ending to him, so give him some feedback throughout the activity as to how much longer he has until the activity is over. At the grocery store, I always go down the aisles the same way that way he knows when we reach a certain aisle, the next stop is the cashier. I also let him pick one treat for remaining calm.

My son recently started taking an anti-anxiety medication - Lexapro. I haven't seen any change in him yet, but I've read that anti-anxiety medication has been helpful for some individuals with autism.

I hope you find something that works for you.

[Momof3]

Have you tried changing his diet? We put our son on a Gluten Free Casine Free Diet and have a 180 degree differance in his behavior problems. We still have some problems but he is mangagable now. Alot of Doctors told us it wasn't worth the try b/c so few kids show a change, but Clayton was one of those kids who live changed for the better.
Have you tryied taking him to a Nutricianist? Ours ran a few tests and put him on suppliments, now he is thinking more clearly, talking and learning.
Have you talked to his neurologist about it. There may be some meds he could try?
Goodluck!

[SPIDER]

momof3,

When we went to our last appointment to see my sons specialist he mentioned about a gluten free diet and keeping an eye on his additives intake. I've looked into the gluten free diet and beings my son is a fussy eater anyway i think it would be a good idea to get a diagnoses first and it seems so expensive especially if it's unnessacery. What steps did you take to get your sons diagnoses. Did you have to see your doctor first and how long would it take to for us to know the results? how long was it before you saw any positive results in your son? The specialist recommended that we gave our son EFALEX tablets 6 aday. We've been doing that since last Tuesday but no positive change yet can be seen. I'm glad you've found away to help your son, i only wish i could do the same as his outbursts are unbelievable.

spider.

[SPIDER]

GracerR,

I have to give you credit for your patience, i wonder how many times do you have to leave your shopping in order to take your son outside? If i did that with my boy i'm sure he would enjoy it, it's a good way for most but in our case i think i would be the one to suffer in that case. My shopping would be defrosted and i would feel humiliated with everyone stareing at me and judging my actions.

We went to see my sons specialist and because he can control himself in school and at the youth club where he goes he said there is no need for him to have medication, apparantly it is down to a lack of disaplin on our part. So he's said we have to toughen up and use the boredom techneec on him, which i am doing since our appointment but he seems to have got worse not better. Is LEXAPRO a prescribed drug?

from a very desperate aspergers mum, spider.

[GraceR]

Yes, Lexapro is a prescribed anti-anxiety medication, and my son needs it mainly at school where there's a lot of stimulation.

Does your son receive any services through a Regional Center? We are currently working with a behavior specialist both at home and at school to come up with a behavior program for our son. The behaviorist's time at school is paid for by the school district, but the money for the time the behaviorist spends with us in our home comes from the Regional Center. The sit down technic was something the behaviorist recommended to us, but I understand completely about the time and embarassment. Another technic he told me to use was a "I am working for ..." card. Before going to the store, discuss with him something he'd like to do or have after the shopping trip. Then make a list of three things you'd like him to do during the shopping trip in order to earn it. The things on my list could include - do good listening, quiet voice, pay for things before opening (another big problem for my son). I use pennies as markers for each goal. If at the end of the shopping trip he still has all three pennies, he gets his reward. I don't know if this will work for you, but it's just another idea.

[AutMom]

[QUOTE=SPIDER]Autmom,

Im not with you on your reply, could you please elaborate. I would appreciate your comments.[/QUOTE]

Well, I guess what I meant is that there may be a reason why he only has the outbursts at certain places. So I was wondering if maybe his time at school is structured (enough so he is kept busy and has a schedule to follow).

When he is out playing is he with others or alone?

When he is with the grandparents are they keeping him busy or what?

Another possibility is that he is more comfortable when he's with you and has been working so hard holding it all together for school and the grandparents, that it all comes apart, making it seem he has saved it all for you.

Is he moody at all? My son gets very moody when he has a yeast overgrowth.

Just some thoughts....


[QUOTE=SPIDER]The thing is he does not seem to temper at school, when he's out playing or with his grandparents. He saves it all for us at home. I can handle the outbursts at home reasonable ok, but the main problem is he has outbursts outside the home, i.e. when we take him to the seaside, a trip into the town or the local shop. Professionals can find no cause for this or even offer us some help with dealing with this. My son is very rude to strangers when he has a temper and swears out loud, it is very embarrasing as he is getting older now. .[/QUOTE]

[SPIDER]

GRACERR,

That sounds like a really good stratergy, how old is your son? mine is 10 yrs, do you think this will work with his age? Where does your son keep his pennies? I think i may have a go at your suggestion, thankyou. I've been trying some of the boredom stratergies the child psychiatrist suggested, but he is very tearful and to be honest it doesn't really seem to be working unless i'm being to harsh with him. The psychatrist just gave me a sheet of paper with boredom technics with no real advice because i also need to take into account my sons aspergers obsessions. Surely i'm not supposed to punish him for his tempers related to his aspergers, to be honest i'm getting more and more confused. My son seems to be tempering worse, and full of tears. Where abouts do you live? are you in the uk?

spider.

[GraceR]

I keep the pennies on the card next to each goal. You can use double stick tape to put them on the card. If my son starts to act up, I show him the card and remind him what he's working for. I remove the penny if the behavior doesn't stop, but if he can organize himself and get back to a calm state, I acknowlege him for it, and I put the penny back onto the card.

[GraceR]

[QUOTE=SPIDER]Surely i'm not supposed to punish him for his tempers related to his aspergers[/QUOTE]

What I tell my sons is, "That is not appropriate behavior in public!" and I say it rather firmly. You don't necessarily have to punish him, but you need to address the behavior. I continually need to remind myself that my son isn't bad, but his behaviors are. What I've recently started saying to my son with the inappropriate language is, "Use your mouth for good things." It addresses the behavior without making him feel like a bad person. It's all trial and error. Hang in there.

[SPIDER]

I have took the advise of my sons specialist and put him on a gluten free diet, he's been on it for 5 days now, the withdrawal isn't nice but apparantly after that we should see a calmer little boy, especially now he is taking extra effalex (fish oil) capsules aswell. While withdrwing from gluten his behavior does seem extreme, from being really bouncy, chattie and happy one day to being an explosive bad tempered boy the next. With all the right support i feel i'm getting now i'm sure we will all get through this and hopefully (fingers crossed) come out the other end smileing especially my son. Thankyou for all your replies. I will keep up to date on the board of my sons progress.

[3auties]

Spider,
Hi, I have just joined the Forums. I read the thread on temper tantrums. I understand what you were going through or still are. I have 3 with Autism and my 10yr. old is somewhat high function, but can have tantrums when he has sensory overload. Some things trigger this like- Loud noises, many people being around along with other sounds accompanying it. We still don't have a handle on it.

Just wondering if you found help or resource info....
Thanks for listening and have a peaceful day,
Christina