help! i losing my mind

[going crazy]

I have been dating this woman for about a year now and her four year old son I believe he has some symtoms of autism.
1. he will only eat finger food fish sticks chicken nuggets and pizza also pork n beans and nothing else no matter what.
2. he constantly babbles and seldomly makes a complete sentence also will not make eye contact while speaking
3. he will constantly try and rub the elbow of any person that is around with the palm of his hand.
4. severe tantrums and fits if you try and make him do anything that he does not want to or try and make him eat some thing that he does not want to eat i've seen him what looked like trying to make himself vomit when telling him he had to eat it. gagging should i say but resulted in vomiting
5. he is hard to understand when he will ask a question his mom will tell to go draw her a picture of it and the drawings are rather amasing for a four year old.
6. can anyone give me some advice or tell me if i'm crazy

[AutMom]

Does the mom also believe he may have autism? Has she had him evaluated?

[going crazy]

I mentioned it to her once about 6 months ago and she thought i was just being mean so she took him to his family doctor and the doctor said that she was crazy for even thinking that but yesterday we took him in for pre-k testing and they told her that he would need to be placed in special ed classes and they would like to perform a complete mental evaluation. so now she thinks the school is completely wrong as well.

[going crazy]

also i'm not he only person telling me that the child may be in need of help and being there is help from what i'm reading here in this site. i would like to try and get him the help he needs while he is still at a young age but i'm not sure how to say it to her again i don't want her to feel like i'm just making these things up. so can anyone please give me some advice on what to do next. last night i caught him playing in the toilet with his poop is this normal as well. this is not the first time he has done this.

[AutMom]

Sounds like the doctor may be the one who's wrong....
Not that schools are always right, but why would they want to bother with an evaluation and special education? They would normally not want to go to this trouble and expense if there was no reason. Have you tried showing her something in writing, such as the red flags (signs) for autism?

As a parent, it can be so hard to face something like this. It may be easier to get mad at the "messenger" than to come out of denial.