Mom of twins - one with autism

[JoiLynn]

Hi,

I am the stay-at-home mom of 2 year old twin boys, Reece & Jacob. While Jacob seems to developing fine, Reece was diagnosed with autism back in November.

Reece's development was completely normal & only about 3 weeks behind Jacob all through infancy & up to his MMR vaccination. About 2-3 weeks after that shot, Reece began to lose eye contact, remove himself from social situations, and he started to flap his hands & jump with his mouth wide open & rigid. In June 2004, I asked his pediatrician about getting him referred to a pediatric psychologist, but I was told to "wait & see". By October I felt I had "waited to see" long enough. I called the pediatrician, insisted on a consult appt & got Reece in to see a psychologist who gave him his diagnosis.

He gets behavior therapy (ABA) in home, an OT comes in to help with sensory integration, a speech pathologist comes once a week, & his early intervention coordinator comes once a week as well. I've implemented a gluten-free/casein-free/yeast-free diet & he's been to see a DAN! (Defeat Autism Now!) practioner. All of this helps Reece, but I'm the one who's having trouble coping.

I was looking for an online support group to help me to cope with the frustrations, pain, & outright anger that seems to go with being a parent of a child with autism. It's so painful to watch Reece try to make sense of his world, and yet all the while try to make sure Jacob isn't left on the sidelines. I cry all the time & try not to let the boys know when I'm upset. I feel like I'm doing the best I possibly can, but it never seems like enough. I always feel like I'm failing.

How can I get out of this?? How have other parents learned to make sweet lemonade out of such miserable lemons???

Thanks,
Joi Lynn

[AutMom]

Sounds like you have done so much to get the ball rolling!

I do remember a lot of crying time...its still new to you so let yourself cry. You will most likely move out of that phase. Being on an online group can help, because its almost always here to go to and there are others here who understand.

Sometimes the lemonade can be sweet and sometimes it will be sour I guess.

[laurie]

you did all the right things by getting all the therapy in place while he is so young, the twin i care for and teach was not in any therapy until she was around four years old, now 10 and thriving. lots of tears and anger will all turn to pride when you see all the acomplishments that have been made. the other twin will be fine just assure him spend that time when his twin is in therapy with him he will be fine and dont be so hard on yourself they are very lucky to have you and you to have them as you will find out. we are all placed here with a challenge as you are how you deal with it is up to you, and from what i can see you are doing fine,,,, very lucky little boys.........laurie