My three year old is autistic

[mitzie]

Hello,

My name is mitzie and my three year old son has been diagnosed for about six months now. We were at first told like so many others that he was just a little slow in developing and he would eventually catch up. The more time that went by the doctors then took it upon themselves to say that something else was wrong. His name is Quest. It's almost funny to me that this strange name came into my mind before I had him and now he is on a long one.

He just started school in the public school system a couple of months ago and I could not be more proud of the progress he has made. He was unable to say anything before he started school. Now he at least knows up to thirty words. He doesn't do any type of rocking but a lot of high pitched screaming. I guess I'm a little confused because I spend so much time taking him from one specialist to another that I feel like I get more pamphlets thrown at me then answers. My first question would be is there a chance that the autism could get worse? Right now I see progress in a lot of areas. He knows I'm Mommy and he knows his brothers and other relatives but his tantrums are getting worse. Potty training is something I think we all just have to deal with and hopefully someone will come up with that answer. The second big question would be how to deal with all of this without becoming too much of a drama queen? I feel like crying all the time. I'm having nightmares about my child being kidnapped because someone left the door opened. I fee like I am constantly triple checking everything and I get mad at my husband and my other two sons when they do things that are careless.

I don't care about having to deal with his autism until he is an old gray man. I will be there trying to disguise the vegetables in his pasta when I'm 90 (if the good Lord allows), but all I really want to hear is "I love you". I barely know what his voice sounds like but he just learned to call me Mommy and I swear it is the sweetest sound I ever heard. Is there anyone out there that feels like they are strong enough to pull a very strong black woman together?

Your advice and comments would be appreciated.

Thank you,

Quest's Mommy

[laurie]

hello and welcome to the forum,,, i dont know if any of this will help you but i'll tell you my story.......i have a daycare and 10 years ago i started babysitting twin girls i had cared for their sister prior to thier birth so now i had 3.... in the beginning christine was very quiet never cried ever her twin made alot of noise haha,,,,,at about 18 months we knew something was wrong she never spoke and just stared off into space looking right through you ;christine was diagnosed at around2 years old with autism and we were all trained in how to deal with this. i wont lie it was not easy but oh was it worth it . potty training was difficult but it comes, at 5 years old i became her ''programer'' i work with her 2 hours a day, teaching her right from wrong, what is appropriate and what is not, in the beginning she could not say two words didnt ask a single question and would never ever look at you and touching you never , a hug forget it.i love you ,, unheard of........today christine is a beautiful 10 year old who has more love and hugs and questions and jokes, she is in a regular class and is far beyond anyone else in her class even beyond her older sister when it comes to smarts, she writes poetry as a way to express herself and is as normal as any child her age.... it was alot of hard work and very devoted people in her corner that brought her to this place in her life. she is wonderful ,,,,, i cant tell you enough to get some one on one support for your son 10 hours a week trust me you will be surprised what this can do......in canada the government pays for this although not alot of people know about it,, look into it and dont give up there is alot of help out there,,,, i know you will be ok and will look back on this one day just a little hill you can make it up, i know you can and you will hear those words beleive me i love you mommy dont rush him once he starts he wont stop haha, be strong youve been blessed ... good luck and hugs for quest......laurie

[AutMom]

Welcome to the group mitzie,

Its great that you're seeing progress!

We've been through many ups and downs.

Its not surprising you feel like crying at this stage. Hopefully that will get better in time.

Potty training came late in our case, and we had the help of a consultant.

I taught my son to say "I love you" using signs and words when he was little, and, of course, said it to him also.

[JoiLynn]

[QUOTE=mitzie]Hello,

My name is mitzie and my three year old son has been diagnosed for about six months now. We were at first told like so many others that he was just a little slow in developing and he would eventually catch up. The more time that went by the doctors then took it upon themselves to say that something else was wrong. His name is Quest. It's almost funny to me that this strange name came into my mind before I had him and now he is on a long one.

He just started school in the public school system a couple of months ago and I could not be more proud of the progress he has made. He was unable to say anything before he started school. Now he at least knows up to thirty words. He doesn't do any type of rocking but a lot of high pitched screaming. I guess I'm a little confused because I spend so much time taking him from one specialist to another that I feel like I get more pamphlets thrown at me then answers. My first question would be is there a chance that the autism could get worse? Right now I see progress in a lot of areas. He knows I'm Mommy and he knows his brothers and other relatives but his tantrums are getting worse. Potty training is something I think we all just have to deal with and hopefully someone will come up with that answer. The second big question would be how to deal with all of this without becoming too much of a drama queen? I feel like crying all the time. I'm having nightmares about my child being kidnapped because someone left the door opened. I fee like I am constantly triple checking everything and I get mad at my husband and my other two sons when they do things that are careless.

I don't care about having to deal with his autism until he is an old gray man. I will be there trying to disguise the vegetables in his pasta when I'm 90 (if the good Lord allows), but all I really want to hear is "I love you". I barely know what his voice sounds like but he just learned to call me Mommy and I swear it is the sweetest sound I ever heard. Is there anyone out there that feels like they are strong enough to pull a very strong black woman together?

Your advice and comments would be appreciated.

Thank you,

Quest's Mommy[/QUOTE]

[JoiLynn]

Hi Mitzie,

I read your post and wow, could I relate!!! I am the mom of twin two year old boys, Reece & Jacob. Reece was diagnosed with autism back in November, and the ride has been bumpy... My entire career was spent helping adults (and their families) with developmental disabilities. Now it seems that although I left work to be a stay at home mom, I have ten times the workload!!

I love both my boys with all my heart & I too will do anything and everything in my power for them. Reece used to scream incessantly - a loud, bone-chilling scream that would seem to go on forever!! In the grocery store, at the mall, out to the park, EVERYWHERE! I can handle the work involved with autism, but my nerves (and my husband's) were wearing thin. After doing a lot of intensive research through my "work connections" & online, I decided to try putting Reece on a gluten-free/casein free diet. After all, what could I lose at that point? I felt like I had already lost my mind anyway!
I bought Lynn Hamilton's book, Facing Autism, and started this diet. Within 3 days, Reece started to sleep for 2-3 hours at a time! The screaming was going away, and the eye contact & speech that he'd lost at 16 months old were starting to come back!!! I've never been a person who was into holistic medicine, etc. but the proof was right in front of me. His tantrums have subsided (he doesn't bang his head as much as he used to) and he no longer lines up his toys: he actually plays with them.
But I have to say, I hate the demon I call autism. It makes me angry & I just find myself crying and crying. I understand. Completely and totally understand your pain. I was actually feeling so miserable that I was searching online & came across this site this morning. It's good to know I'm not so alone out there.

JoiLynn

[AutMom]

JoiLynn, Glad you found the site....true, you are not alone.

[Bethintx]

This is something I wrote a while back. It shows how we all feel.



You stand there in the gap,
between your world and mine.

Eyes looking without seeing,
Ears hearing without listening,
Mouth making words without talking.

Your fingers are fluttering before your face as you sway from side to side.

I know you're in there somewhere.
You laugh and sing.
You hug and smother me with kisses,
then you're gone again.

I know you don't mean to cause me pain.
I just want you to come into my world.
I want to share it with you.

I want you to share a little
of your world with me.
What makes you laugh?
why do you cry?

I pray that the wall of Autism
will fall away some day.
Will my prayers be in vain?
Will you ever come into my world
to stay?

For now I'll treasure those little moments when you're with me,
the giggles and the hugs;
and singing of songs together.

I love you, sweet Ryan!

Sincerely,
Mommy

By Beth Ham
December, 2003